The surge of feelings
At the sight of you
Swirled around me
Like a personal tornado.
We are long over
Our past buried deep
But when our eyes meet
They remember to weep.
Don’t you dare come near me When all you are is a tease You play with my emotions When your love is a lease. Why must you chase my affection Then promptly leave me out cold You raise glass walls between us Now that my heart to you is sold.
You seem to find power In the silence of my thoughts. You think you exude knowledge In the thunder of your words. But you must know, as I do – Your talk is all fluff. The stillness you hear Is my mind picking that up.
Come see me by the lakeshore On a beautiful Sunday afternoon I’ll bring the new picnic blanket I just bought from Amazon. Come take your bike and hit the trail But don’t forget some ice-cold beer I’ll wait for you under the tree I just claimed as ours today. Come watch the waves roll in and out And people stoked for a summer sun Too bad you will never make it here Figments of imagination never do.
What happened to you? You were the sunshine That lit up a room You were the laughter That couldn’t wait To turn the sound on You had the sharpest wit The kindest heart The sweetest love. Now you wear a scowl That spoils a happy mood You shoot spite from those eyes That used to only see The best of me. You have the loudest screams The saddest sobs The look of surrender. What have I turned you into?
Prequel: The Knot
We used to think The world of each other We used to feel Like ours Was the kind of love Meant to last forever. We did not have it easy Weaker souls Would have scurried away We did stay steady Like nothing Could ever break us apart. But then we tied the knot.
My mind runs the words Over and over again. My heart aches to burst From all the raging feelings. The things I long to say The truths you need to hear, I fear that they just may Be your heartbreaker.
My emotions are running wild I can’t seem to rein them in. They just flow out my skin Like lava when a volcano erupts. I can see the smoke belching Out my ears and out my nose. My head aches like it’s on fire And ready to explode. My heart is contracting It’s pumping black, not red. I am so mad at you And you don’t even know.
The heart still breaks Each time I think Of the day you broke it. The wound feels fresh As if it’s only yesterday That you inflicted it. It tears me up to endure Staying as we are, Knowing we are no longer. It drives me nuts Keeping the ties together When we both know We’d rather not.
It was a conversation I wish I never had. A dare against convention I thought was brave and rad. I let you see my future It was a big mistake. A call for you to nurture Left me reel at its wake. A year into that moment, I’d like to mark the day I chose to be transparent But you took it away.
Nothing tests The strength of our ties More than adversity. In happier times Our affections are easy. But in bad, we let the pain Hold us in a bind And we lose sight Of the day the sun Takes over the night – We break loose, We let go; We lose heart To see it through.
Let go of that tear That you have kept from falling. And your heart – That sacred little place You have kept cold and unaffected – Let it ache with all your pain. Only then will you be free of him Only then will you breathe.