Surrender

It was a promise
You pinned your hopes on
It was a future
You knew you owned.

But it doesn’t happen
Like it’s supposed to
It came crashing down
Like a brick on you.

So for self-respect
You refuse to just take it
And for self-preservation
You choose to quit.

Fickle

Don’t you dare come near me
When all you are is a tease 
You play with my emotions
When your love is a lease. 

Why must you chase my affection
Then promptly leave me out cold
You raise glass walls between us
Now that my heart to you is sold. 

Doctor

I see you look at them
From a distance
For this is a time
When love means
Staying away
Letting the eyes speak
And the hands touch
Through the wind.
 
You heal the wounded
Yet the universe
Thinks its you
Who owes it
Making you pay
With hugs of loved ones
And at its most cruel
Your life.

Dedicated to a neonatologist who recently passed away from the virus, leaving a family with young kids behind. I didn’t personally know her but she left an indelible mark of courage, sacrifice, love.

Ode to the Sun

When you’re close to the horizon
That’s when I like you best
Whether it be in the mornings
When you rise in the east
Or the lovely evenings
When you set in the west.
 
When you cross that natural line
That’s when you truly shine bright
It warms my heart each time
You turn on dawn’s charming light
Or paint the blue, cloudy skies
Glorious colors in the night.

Reflection

What hold do you have of me
That I tend to measure myself
In the sparkle of your eyes
Or depth of your sighs?
 
Why must the tone of your voice
Or purse of your lips
Have the power to decide
What eats me up inside?
 
How did you turn into my mirror
But kept a mind of your own
Will the reflection I see
Ever stop breaking me?

A Battle with Time

The clock ticks away like
It doesn’t give a damn whether
You make it or miss.

Its allegiance is hitched
To everyone or everything else –
Never with you.

So you wage a war against it,
Defying its natural flow,
Keeping with your own rhythm.

You never win.

Quiet

You seem to find power
In the silence of my thoughts.
You think you exude knowledge
In the thunder of your words.
But you must know, as I do –
Your talk is all fluff.
The stillness you hear
Is my mind picking that up.

Rendezvous

Come see me by the lakeshore
On a beautiful Sunday afternoon
I’ll bring the new picnic blanket
I just bought from Amazon.
 
Come take your bike and hit the trail
But don’t forget some ice-cold beer
I’ll wait for you under the tree
I just claimed as ours today.
 
Come watch the waves roll in and out
And people stoked for a summer sun
Too bad you will never make it here
Figments of imagination never do.

Monster

What happened to you?
 
You were the sunshine
That lit up a room
You were the laughter
That couldn’t wait
To turn the sound on
You had the sharpest wit
The kindest heart
The sweetest love.
 
Now you wear a scowl
That spoils a happy mood
You shoot spite from those eyes
That used to only see
The best of me.
You have the loudest screams
The saddest sobs
The look of surrender.

What have I turned you into?

Prequel: The Knot

Vicious Cycle

You aimed for it
A thousand times
And always bloody miss.
You tell your hopeful self
It’s fine, it’s fine
Tomorrow’s another shot at it.

Whoever thought it easy
Could only be delusional.
This diet goal is crazy,
A dream that fades away –
The kind of new beginning
That just restarts each day.

Poker Face

You wear your heart out too much,
Your emotions a neon show.
Is there a way you can hide them?
They look so raw.

You say you’re being honest
You think you’re being just.
They get what they see
But do they honor your trust?

You can’t just open all your cards
And let them play as they please.
Hold some aces to your heart
They deserve much less.

Seething

My emotions are running wild
I can’t seem to rein them in.
They just flow out my skin
Like lava when a volcano erupts.

I can see the smoke belching
Out my ears and out my nose.
My head aches like it’s on fire
And ready to explode.

My heart is contracting
It’s pumping black, not red.
I am so mad at you
And you don’t even know.

Tease

It appeared like a star
In a very dark night.
It promised like a god
That you will be all right.

It lured you like a temptress
To a place you’ve never been.
It stirred you to a restlessness
Such as one you’ve never seen.

It warmed you up to a vision
Where you live your heart’s desires.
It then left you disillusioned
When it vanished as you caught fire.

Elusive

You used to be
An integral part of me –
You filled my veins
With fire,
You fanned my heart’s
Desire,
You took me up
So high –
You ruled me.

And then –
gone.

I lost you along the way
Or maybe you left,
I stayed.
Regardless how it
Came to be
I searched for you
Each day
And when I’m close
You just
Slip away.

Alternative Reality

It's the kind of world
Where you can be bold
To call the shots
Or drop the ball
Without a care
For repercussions.

It’s the state of being
Where you can be whole
To reign in the hurt
Or not feel the hate
Like your heart
Is not at breaking point.

It’s the form of escape
Where you can be free
To live without worry
And love truly and fully
As if life is not
Your current reality.